WARNING: AL GORE NAKED - LOL
by William Warren:
by Rick Manning: Al Gore may have another cause to champion.
In the wake of some whacky climate “scientists” declaring that the “thawing” Icelandic ice cap could cause future serious volcanic eruptions due to the reduction of glacial mass that is keeping the earth’s magma suppressed, the Daily Mail in the UK came up with an even crazier explanation of the seeming spate of earthquakes around the globe.
Scantily clad women. That’s right. Bikinis make the earth move. I’m not talking Carole King lyrics here, but actual, real live shorts and halter tops.
Well known Iranian earthquake predictor, President and resident mad man Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has predicted that a quake is certain to hit the capital of Tehran, urging residents to relocate. Mahmoud may have misread the geological tea leaves when it comes to predicting what is likely to make the ground move in Tehran, but that is another topic.
Taking up President Madman’s quake warning, Islamic cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi (HKS for short) proclaimed in a prayer sermon that, “Many women do not dress modestly…lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which leads to earthquakes.”
Now, that explains the constant threat of earthquakes in California, but somehow I would guess that they were pretty bundled up during the Anchorage, Alaska quake on March 27, 1964.
It is suspected that Mahmoud and HKS have been taking lessons on the earth’s geological foundations from noted intellectual Congressman Hank Johnson. Johnson, you will remember, last month worried that Guam might capsize in Congressional questioning of the Admiral in charge of the entire Pacific Fleet.
That brings us back to Iceland - an island, using Johnson’s unique island flotation theory, even more in danger of suffering Guam’s feared fate with Mt. Lotsarandomletters billowing tons of ash into the air. Clearly, as all that lava and ash flows upward, the bottom of the island gets lighter, exponentially increasing the chances of it tipping over.
All of which goes to show you that whether you are in Europe, Tehran, Washington, DC or even Tennessee, if you just turn in enough box tops, you too can get a hockey stick shaped diploma certifying your expertise on the weather and other natural phenomena. And it comes with a handy decoder ring too.
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Rick Manning is the Director of Communications for Americans for Limited Government and the former Public Affairs Chief of Staff for the U.S. Department of Labor.
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